havokangel:

i hope u enjoy this pain u caused me

frank + this list

@alexsunmners @mvximoff @dicckgrayson @madelyne-pryor

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she touches you like you’re fragile, and if you break, you won’t be able put yourself together again.

He keeps telling himself that you’re only coming over for Max. He tells himself that because Max is a puppy, he needs other dogs to play with and that it’s convenient that his next door neighbor has a puppy that whines at night too. He tries to convince himself that he’s not capable of developing feelings for another woman, despite how he’s pretty sure he could listen to your talk for years and not get sick of it. He tries to convince himself that the mutual attraction is a sick joke his mind is making up to bring back Maria and that what he feels stirring between the two of you is nothing that’s tangible and remotely mutual.

Frank watches you and it seems to be in slow motion as Sirius, your puppy, jumps on top of your laugh and laps at your face; throwing your head back in a laugh, hair fanning out behind you as your eyes flutter back. The smile that spreads across his face is one that he can’t hold back anymore as he watches the exchange. Frank takes your wine glass from you so you don’t drop it from trying to wrestle Sirius to the ground, and the genuine laugh that sounds through his apartment is one he wants to hear again and again.

When you manage to get Sirius off of you, you’re still giggling like a little girl as you instinctively move to rest your forehead against his shoulder, covering your mouth with the back of your hand as you catch your breath. His chest tightens as your other hand moves to rest atop his on his thigh, as you huff with laughter. You’re both between tipsy and drunk and little touches like this makes him want to cup your cheeks and kiss you like he’s never kissed anyone before.

But then he remembers. He remembers what it was like to love and to be loved and how quickly it was taken away from him; he remembers his wife and his children and how fucked up he is from that.

Maybe, one day, he’ll let himself heal from that pain. But now, he won’t. He still mourns the way he can’t kiss his wife and be with his children. So he just lets you laugh and drink and pet the dogs and watches what he’ll never allow himself again.